What Your Teen Needs Most to Prepare for College

​Helping your teen to develop their emotional intelligence will help them:

  • Navigate set backs, failures, and disappointments
  • Manage stress
  • Experience less anxiety and feelings associated with depression
  • Have stronger, healthier relationships
  • Make well thought out decisions
  • Make decisions for self vs. following the crowd
  • Have greater focus for academic performance

#College #freshmen face the #stress of separating from family and friends. #EmotionalIntelligence can help.

How Parents Can Help

Studies have shown that parents of millennials commonly use a more hands-on approach to parenting.

I have heard one person describe this as the lawn mower parent. The lawn mower parent walks ahead of the teen, clearing a path that is free of obstacles, challenges, and snares.

While intentions are good, the lawn mower mows down the opportunities for teens to learn how to experience life on their own. It eliminates practicing how to advocate for themselves, handle disappointment, make decisions, manage conflict, and navigate emotions.

Providing opportunities for your high school student to master these skills while still in high school will serve them well their first year away at college.

What Exactly Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Simply put, EQ is your ability to be smart with your feelings.

EQ is the ability to blend thoughts and feelings to make the best possible decision.

Tuning In: EQ requires that you tune into your own emotions and the automatic reactions you have to specific situations. When faced with peer pressure and the desire to belong, does your son make a choice for himself or cave willing to do anything to fit in.

Being Intentional: With greater self-awareness, EQ helps you to be intentional with your choices by first recognizing your options and considering how they help or take away from your desired outcome. When feeling overwhelmed, can your daughter navigate her emotion and consider her options?

Being Purposeful: EQ considers and recognizes how your decisions impact others. It includes understanding how your choices ripple outward, impacting those around you. It’s about increasing your empathy through connection and listening to others. And it’s about the ultimate impact you want to have…that larger purpose in life. When faced with a challenge, does your son consider the impact of his choices and how it might effect others?

Finally, emotional intelligence coaching is one way to help your teens grow in their emotional intelligence, and prepare for the transition into college. 

About Kelli Porcaro, PCC, EQAP, EQCC

Kelli brings 25+ years of Organizational Development experience to her work as a Consultant and Coach. She works in a wide range of industries unlocking infinite possibility with leadership development, instructional design, change management, and emotional intelligence. 

Kelli also serves on Faculty at the Lake Forest Graduate School Management.

The Teen Stress Epidemic

Teen stress and anxiety is growing and continues to be on the rise. According to the American Psychological Association, teens (ages 13-17) are reporting greater levels of stress compared to adults (18+).

On a 10-point scale:

  • Teens experience an average stress level of 5.8 during the school year
  • Teens experience an average stress level of 4.6 during the summer
  • Adults experience an average stress level of 5.1

In addition:

  • 83% of teens indicated that school was a common source of stress
  • 31% of teens indicated that their stress level was greater than the prior year.
  • 54% of teens think their stress level has a slight to no impact on their body or physical health
  • 52% of teens think their stress level has a slight to no impact on their mental health
  • 59% of teens are uncertain about the effectiveness of their stress management techniques

“Almost a third of college students said they felt so depressed during the previous year that it was difficult to function, and more than half had experienced overwhelming anxiety. Almost 8 percent seriously considered suicide.” 2013 National College Health Assessment,

There is little hope of things getting better any time soon if teens lack awareness of the impact of stress and are uncertain how to navigate stress.

Something needs to change.

 

Preparing Students for College

As students enter into their first year of college, they are immediately face-to-face with the stress of separating from family and friends, a need to belong, choice of decisions and priorities, social and academic pressures, and possibly employment.

This stress can lead to poor decisions, unhealthy friend groups, isolation, excessive socializing, misguided priorities, focus on self over others, overwhelm, anxiety, and self-harm.

In the year 2016, there were approximately 20.5 million students attending college in the United States. College campuses are reporting record number of visits to campus counseling centers and longer wait times, both indicating a need to provide support to students struggling with social and emotional issues.

In order to break unhealthy stress levels with our teens entering college, we need to provide opportunities for students to learn how to become self-aware and navigate stress with proven skills and tools to live a healthy lifestyle.

Navigating Stress with Emotional Intelligence Training and Coaching

With emotional intelligence training and coaching, students can learn to navigate stress using the following strategies.

  • Turn inward to recognize triggers that create stress
  • Recognize patterns of behavior that lead to stress and anxiety
  • Identify self-limiting thoughts, or false beliefs that create stress
  • Recognize choices and options to create better balance and promote a healthy lifestyle
  • Respond to stress with intentional actions that break the stress cycle
  • Establish and maintain supportive networks and communities to increase dialogue and communication when feeling the symptoms of burnout
  • Make effective decisions and choices
  • Navigate challenges with confidence and optimistic thinking
  • Successfully respond to social and academic pressures
  • Align choices and decisions to what matters most

Summary

So while parents and schools help teens prepare academically, financially, and physically for college, many teens leave their families and friends not fully prepared emotionally for what lies ahead. Teens need to learn how to intentionally respond to the feelings of stress in a way that helps them feel productive, connected, balanced, and satisfied.

The focus of preparing teens for college must be expanded from academics to also include well-being.

Emotional Intelligence training and coaching can help teens turn things around so that they will be able to engage in healthy and supportive relationships, navigate social and emotional stress and anxiety, and align their focus, decisions, and choices with what matters most.

About Kelli Porcaro, PCC, EQAP, EQCC

Kelli brings 25+ years of Organizational Development experience to her work as a Consultant and Coach. She works in a wide range of industries unlocking infinite possibility with leadership development, instructional design, change management, and emotional intelligence. 

Kelli also serves on Faculty at the Lake Forest Graduate School Management.