It’s probably no surprise that the first question most people have about change is, “How will this effect me?” We refer to these as What About Me issues. In the midst of disruption, individuals may ask themselves (or you):
- How will this impact my job?
- What if I like the way things are now?
- When will this happen?
- What if I lose my job?
- What if I can't change?
If these questions go unanswered, it becomes difficult for individuals to move through the change curve. Self-preservation becomes a top priority and employees become preoccupied with their own personal interests.
It’s important to communicate often and keep your team informed so they feel as safe as possible. Be sure that your communication addresses these questions as quickly and honestly as you can so that employees can focus on the work at hand.
Be proactive about creating time and space to talk about these issues. Talking about change provides opportunity to answer questions, provide clarity, listen, encourage, support, and dream.
Responding to What About Me Issues
It might be tempting to respond to What About Me issues with answers or solutions. But remember, change is both rational and emotional. Behind every What About Me issue, there will likely be an emotional reaction.
This is a great time to sharpen and practice the art of listening to help your employee feel heard. There are three levels of listening.
Select each of the tabs below for a short description of each level.
Level one listening focuses on your own thoughts, opinions, judgments and feelings while the other person is talking. This might be appropriate when you are trying to make a decision and need to collect information.
Level two listening focuses entirely on the speaker and on the conversation. With level two listening you:
- Notice what and how something is being said, along with what is not being said.
- Pay close attention to tone, body language, and words. Words often communicate the smallest amount of the message compared to the tone and body language.
Picture a teenager sighing and rolling her eyes saying, “Sure I’d love to go to the grocery store for you.”
The third level of listening includes level two and your intuition. This may sound something like, “I know you are open to change, but I sense that you have some concerns.”
The individual may open up or they may resist and say they don’t have any concerns. Either way, you’ve opened the door for deeper conversation.
Practice Active Listening
Facilitating change provides a great opportunity to practice level two and three listening. To do so, you’ll want to take an active stance while listening.
1. Remove distractions. This means putting away your cell phone, stepping away from your computer, and resisting the urge to multitask.
2. Connect with empathy. This is such an important step. Empathy is not about what you would do in the same situation or how you would feel. It’s about what the other person is experiencing. Even if you don’t agree, everyone has the right to their own feelings. This may sound like, “I can see that you are really frustrated with that.”
3. Check for understanding by mirroring what you hear. Paraphrase the key points in your own words. Be sure to not only include what the facts are, but also how the employee is feeling. For example: Sounds like you are frustrated with the new plan and don’t think it’s going to work.
4. Show interest and ask clarifying questions.
For example: Tell me more. What’s creating the frustration? What will help you right now? How can I support you? What would you like to see instead? What’s in your control? What recommendations do you have?
Before you can address other people’s What About Me issues, take some time to reflect on your own. As you face the change in front of you, what are your concerns for yourself?
How might your own concerns influence the way you feel and talk about the change? What do you need to navigate through the change with greater confidence and commitment?
When it comes to your team members’ What About Me issues, what’s most important? How can you intentionally respond in a way that helps them feel heard from a rational and emotional perspective?
Practice the four steps in Active Listening this week. Which of these four steps comes naturally? Which is a bit more challenging?
How do you plan to practice Active Listening?
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